On the physical mismatch
This kind of internal barrier is already present long before a relationship is formed, based on different traditional ideas and prejudices. It is usually linked to perceived (or real) minor or major physical defects that make sexual relations difficult or impossible.
They are mainly based on body sizes and deviations from the average.
It is a basic prejudice that men should be a little taller and stronger (and of course a few years older). If there's something wrong here, there are concerns about whether they're right for each other. In particular, there are concerns about the mismatch in size of the genitals.
In men, the problem known as "small penis complex" is still quite common
This tends to occur in those who are prone to feelings of inferiority, occasionally finding their penis much smaller than average compared to their peers. This leads them to conclude that it will certainly not be enough for their prospective partner, and this is an irredeemable disadvantage. Sometimes even women attach too much importance to penis size. (Recently, my patient of 23 years was told by his wife that she could never satisfy him because his penis was short and did not reach the cervix. The real reason was of course quite different.)
The reality is that the size of the penis is not particularly important for the satisfaction of either party. Today, it is undisputed that a woman's satisfaction depends primarily on the stimulation of the clitoris and its surroundings, and this may be sufficient even if there is nothing in the vagina. On the other hand, we also know that, in the event of sexual arousal, the female vagina automatically adapts to the size of the penis: it expands or contracts, but it is always squeezed. If this does not happen, the woman has not yet become (sufficiently) aroused, so penetration was premature.
It contributes to the misconception that few people know the "normal" sizes and characteristics of the genitals. Thus, they cannot make a good comparison. In addition, they believe that the size they think is normal applies to everyone. But this size is very relative and can only be expressed in approximate terms. For example, the average length of a rigid male genital organ is between 13 and 17 cm, but 2-3 cm shorter or longer is considered normal.
It is also important to know that the ability of the penis to contract varies from person to person. Therefore, comparing the size of erect testes can be very deceptive, as the small one will be about the same size as the larger one.
Similar situation with the size of the clitoris in women
Here too, the resting state and the swelling capacity vary from person to person. It's a mistake to think that a larger clitoris means more pleasure, because the number of nerve endings, i.e. the sensitivity of the clitoris, does not depend on size. There is less individual variation in the size of the vagina. So, for example, if your partner feels very tight, it is not because "that's the size", but because the contraction of the vaginal muscles makes it very tight. (Fortunately, you can learn to relax the vaginal muscles and the vagina will dilate. In the same way, a vagina that is "too wide" can be made to narrow. We will come back to this later.)
Source: website of Vilmos Szilágyi: http://www.szexualpszichologia.hu/Intimkapcs.htm
