I am increasingly asked by the media to give sex therapist expert interviewt on sexual - relationship issues. I will publish some of them. Today, a new trend in infidelity, cheating, being caught in the act, the so-called hired ghosts are being discussed.
Organised haunting: hired ghosts
The basic principle of marriage vows is fidelity. Infidelity is a factor in the majority of divorces. Most people say the parties can sense when the other is cheating, but is there any legitimate means of proving it?
A new method has emerged to target women who suspect infidelity: online ghosts for hire. A stalker contacts the suspected man via social networking sites and tries to attract his interest. The aim is to communicate until a date is arranged. The wife goes to the meeting, confronting her partner with her planned affair, or at least her openness to it. There are, of course, many reasons why a woman may come to this point. We are not all the same, but Martina Somorjai sexologist our expert says that suspicion should not be part of a relationship. It's certainly not good for him.
Who is attractive to whom?
The use of such a service is always preceded by suspicions, whether well-founded or not.- Be careful with any temptation, because if the husband being tested is an attractive man, the wife cannot be sure that the woman hired will stop at the level of written flirtation - warns the danger of the method sexual therapist expert. - But the opposite is also true: just because someone sees her husband as attractive, don't assume that other women do too. Many women are incredibly jealous of a man that no one else should be. If you're in love, you're not realistic, and if you're jealous, you're especially jealous. The method, by the way, can only give evidence for the situation. Even if the meeting is arranged, it will not show whether the man has been faithful before. In the confrontation, both parties may come out badly: the man may think that the woman is pathologically jealous, crossing boundaries, fearful. He sees her as an untrustworthy cheat, which he can then use to emotionally blackmail her for years.
Bored men
Martina Somorjai sexual therapist sex drive is often a problem in relationships. - Either it is a problem that one member of the couple has little or no sex drive, or decreased libido, either that much, or that it has grown over time. Whichever of these possibilities is the case, there is a gap in the perceived strength of the relationship shield that an outsider can penetrate.
- When the man is already hardly takes the initiative sex and rejects her advances, does not necessarily mean that he rejects all other women and sex in general. He may well be attracted to other types of women. In this situation, the man usually feels no remorse in case of cheating. If the woman accepts this, there will be no consequences, the relationship and the humiliation of the woman can continue for decades. So, if the wife hires a ghost with no other option, be prepared for the result to be a break-up or divorce. Perhaps the woman already senses that she is being cheated on, but has never been able to prove a series of affairs until now. If she hires a ghost, her husband is sure to fail, so she will have proof. It may be just what the neglected wife needs to move on and face the cruel reality," - explains sexual therapist expert.
- When a man still loves and desires his wife, but less, this can interfere with his belief in his own masculinity. Either out of vanity or to prove to himself that he is still a man, he may start to show interest in other women. In many cases, those who want to repair their damaged masculinity in this way do not stop there, but because they still love their wives, they feel remorse after the betrayal. Here there are two possible paths:
- or regret it and never repeat the misbehaviour
- or start blaming their wife in order to excuse their own actions. In such cases, hiring a ghost may even bring good results. But the original problem, the breakdown of masculinity sexologist can manage.
A balance of happiness
A woman's libido can be affected by many things, and if the man at home feels he is not getting what he wants, he may be open to other options.- If the man has higher expectations, cheating can give him the extra he needs. But if the situation is reversed and the woman initiates more, the man's ego may be bruised and he may feel he is not fulfilling his wife," - says Martina Somorjai sex therapist. - If the man's desire increases during the relationship, it is a good sign: he is probably satisfied with his partner, his feelings have deepened, he is relaxed in the presence of his wife. It's a good time for her to keep up with him. If this type of man is subjected to the experiment, he will be greatly disappointed and hurt.
The moment of truth
It depends on the situation how the experiment turns out, but it will almost certainly be a pleasant experience for neither party unless the man rejects the first approach. Depending on the background of the relationship, a break-up could easily be the end of the temptation. - Remember, opportunity begets the thief! It is possible that the husband would never think of stepping aside or that he would, but because he has no encouragement from the outside world, he forgets about it. But by hiring a ghost, the wife has already given him a hint, and next time he might make his own advances to a strange woman. Moreover, after the manoeuvre, the husband's trust in his wife is shaken - warns Martina Somorjai sexual therapist.
Whose device is at fault?
Unfortunately, if the attempt is unsuccessful, i.e. the husband refuses to meet, it may not be reassuring.Many things can lead a woman to suspect infidelity, even if there is none. She may be distrustful because of a past experience, or there may be so much history of this in her environment that she feels involved. She may also believe that she is not good enough for him, or that she sees a new and dangerous temptation in someone. Abnormal jealousy can also be caused by inherited traumas from previous generations. In such cases, of course, you may try to tempt your partner again and again, when you should be working on yourself with sexual therapist the help of a specialist.
