Several women I know suffer from female problems, as do I. 3 years ago my gynaecological results were badfollowed by a "routine" operation, a cervical tap to find out if it was bad or good. It all started from an HPV virus.
The most horrifying thing for me was that this happened despite the fact that I never changed partners (I have two hands too many to count and I'm over 30)
I have had few sexual relations and yet I didn't understand how it could exist that THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME???? I love sex, I have almost always been in a relationship. There could be many reasons for this: weakened immune system, it depends on the partner, how many relationships they have had, genetic predisposition, etc., etc. .
In my fright, I started to research the psychological background of the illnesses (which I had never dealt with before)
Our mental barriers do have a big percentage effect on our health, but by accepting this opportunity I did not know what to do and especially how to do it differently ? The idea of illness caused a block that made me not see my own situation clearly.
I have found something that I have done a lot for myself: SEXOLOGY CONSULTATION
Meanwhile, my partner and I also had a sexual problem. My partner's sexual desire decreased after 4-5 months of being together, which destroyed me: several months of self-harm, self-blame, self-image deterioration, sadness, not living my sexuality, staying faithful.... I searched for solutions, I offered solutions, but the answer was always that everything was fine, but deep down I felt that this was not true.
Meanwhile, a man very dear to me died of cervical cancer. A mother who could not live up to her femininity. She told me a lot in the last period about not being able to live her femininity, in the last period she tried everything : consultation, alternative methods... it was too late. She said it should have been sooner, after the first chemo. She did it three times...
In the meantime, I found out that my partner is a porn addict, masturbates 4-5 times a day, goes to whores and his every thought is about cheating on me I am still filled with pain and sadness when I think about that time. When I think about how after my accident, instead of being with me, he went to his ex to get revenge on her by sleeping with her and dumping her.And how he went to massages with women while I secretly cried about why he didn't want me.
This was followed by a gynaecological examination, the annual compulsory cancer screening, which showed a threshold that the doctor said would need to be re-examined in six months' time to see what "direction it was going". The doctor did not give me the results...
I was so scared! I was afraid that I would have another "routine" operation and when it would be over...
It was in this state of mind that we found Martina , and I knew that help was needed. At first I thought it was only my boyfriend who needed help with his porn addiction but on the first meeting Martina cleverly realised that I needed help even more: my self-confidence, my belief in my relationship, my femininity were in a very bad state.
An intensive work started, which had a lot of positive results: I found my own responsibility, I accepted the other's addiction without staying in the victim role and I started to really LOVE MYSELF!
AND!
What is the greatest gift for me is that After 5 months of consultations, I plucked up the courage and went to the doctor again for a check-up: NEGATIVE !
To anyone who doubts the success of the consultations, I would just say give yourself a chance to approach the problem from a different angle. Dare to ask for help!
Life will not be smooth after this either, BUT! It doesn't matter how much self-resilience we have when a problem finds us in life. I had all the tools to be a WOMAN but I could not, I see that now and I am learning.
I needed a completely different perspective. Healing our souls also heals our bodies! And my friend's death also teaches us not to procrastinate, when it comes to ourselves, our own health, we can do the most for ourselves.
I've written in bullet points what I've achieved thanks to the sexology consultation with Martina, so if I sometimes get insecure about the past, I can just read them again:
About myself:
1. Awareness:
I've managed to behave more feminine, I dress more feminine, I pay more attention to feminine traits.
I have managed not to be too dominant and I feel that this is very good for our relationship.
I've managed to use some methods from the "pantry" of femininity, which is very good for our relationship.
2.Confidence:
I've noticed that I love myself much more, when I look in the mirror I see more beauty in myself, I start to accept and love my little flaws. I always look for something to praise . If I have a negative thought about a part of my body, I look for a positive one.
3.Praise
I have improved a lot in that when I get praise I thank it, believe it and am happy about it. Before I used to get chills when I got praise
4.I have become much more balanced, I can handle negative situations better.
About my partner:
5.Relationship improvement
It boosted my self-confidence and my importance that my partner came for a consultation ,that he did it for me/for us. Since then my partner doesn't watch porn, doesn't go to whores, doesn't even miss them.
6.It makes me feel good and loving that my partner has become much more confident around me. He became a stronger, more masculine man.
Relationship with a parent:
7.Relationship with my mother
I'm happy that my relationship with my mum has improved and that I can be quiet in certain situations and accept that she is who she is, but still loves me for it. Before the consultation I didn't really feel that my mum loved me.
Thank you for your attention
Giselle
Giselle also wrote the above letter in the "Forum for porn addicts and their relatives", where you can also read about their initial situation in the posts from 5 months earlier.
